I Couldn't Be You
by daynaa
Summary: A suicide case starts and ends some intense feelings and relationships for our favourite CSI team!


Chapter One:

Disclaimer: Okay, I actually own nothing. Well, I own the poems, and the ideas… but I don't own locations, characters etc. Who would have guessed?

A/N: My attempt at a sad story. Character death possibly later on, if I can do it. I've been trying to write a character death story, but I'm too much of a wimp to actually kill one of the characters that I love so dearly off. Haha, how much of a loser am I? Anyhow, story, here goes.

PS: As if I'm starting ANOTHER new one! I will eventually keep updating all my stories… all of them lol there's like 12 on the go now I think, but that's okay because I only suck at multitasking a little bit.

--&

_And that sense that is so uniquely you, I can't find it in anyone else. I guess that's why I'm here alone, desperately failing to not let the tears fall down my cheeks into the pool of blood slowly gathering on the floor. I don't remember anything as my vision starts to blur and I escape the jealousy, the anger, every emotion you left me to gather into this bouquet of death. This bouquet of death which represents my life. Every flower a memory, every petal a piece of my broken heart. And it was getting better, I swear it was, but then you left me and I wasn't as strong as I'd like to think I am. I needed you, but you weren't there. I see you now, burning in my soul, telling me that I'll be fine if I keep trying, if I keep loving but your contradicting messages are too confusing for me to abide. Your perspective of life changes with your moods, and you have driven me to death with your confusing ways, and now I'm dying. Is this what you wanted because I thought it was? I thought we were supposed to deal with our problems the way that would hurt us the least, and honestly, I am numb to the pain of the bleeding, I am oblivious to the tears. Leave my soul now, and let me go in peace. I have my mind made up, I want to do this, I want to die. Now you've confused me once again, you've confused me back into wanting life. I'll fight the blood, I'll fight the tears, and I'll survive this because I'm not going down yet, not because of you. I'm better than you, stronger than the tears. I will rebuild my strength, restore my love, my soul, my passion, and I'll take on the world, nothing will stop me, especially you. _

"Well that's…" Sara started, but wasn't sure how to finish the sentence.

"Different?" Nick suggested, and Sara nodded.

"Yeah. Suicide notes are usually apologies not well, that.

"Which makes us wonder if this is a suicide or not." Grissom joined the conversation. "Possibly someone was counting on the depression of this girl leading to suicide, and when it didn't they took matters into their own hands?"

"Griss, there's a suicide note, there's a dead body and no sign of forced entry or any sign of another human being in this room at all." Nick pointed out.

"Maybe they're smart?" Sara suggested.

"Not that smart." Nick shook his head. He was sure it was suicide. Grissom was going to have to really work to convince him otherwise.

"Well, let's get to work." Grissom ended the mild argument. "Nick, you go talk to the family. There's an older sister, and two parents. Take DNA samples so we can tell if any DNA we find is there's, or a possible intruders."

"I know how to do my job Grissom." Nick cut in. He didn't feel like being bossed around today. Sometimes he hated getting paired up with the boss on cases.

"Sara why don't you help me collect evidence from the room until we're paged for post?" Grissom suggested and Sara nodded quickly, before getting to work.

--&

"Hi, I'm Nick Stokes from the crime lab. I'm very sorry for you loss Mrs. Valdez." Nick told the girl's mother in a sympathetic tone. "Something like this never deserves to happen to someone so young."

"She took her own life, why would you be sorry about that?" Mrs. Valdez didn't seem to be very upset by her daughter's death. "And call me Marion, please. Mrs. Valdez makes me feel old."

"Sure… Marion." Nick felt awkward addressing her this way, but did as she requested. "Now if you wouldn't mind giving us a DNA sample so we can eliminate any DNA that would have occurred due to casual transfer of people living in the same house."

"Sure." Marion nodded, and Nick handed her the swab, which she rubbed in the inside of her cheek, and handed back to him.

"Thank you." Nick snapped the cap on the swab container, labeled it and put it in his vest.

"Not a problem." Marion shrugged. "Was there anything else you needed?"

"If you could answer some questions, that'd be great." Nick hoped she'd comply.

"Are you a detective too?" Marion smirked.

"No, but it's easier if we're able to understand how our victim went about her daily routines, and that sort of information to understand why this might have happened." Nick didn't want to tell the lady that his boss suspected the case was a homicide, not a suicide and the department was so backlogged and short staffed at the moment that they couldn't put a detective on a simple teenage suicide case.

"Oh, alright." Marion bought it.

"So how was your daughter doing at school?" Nick inquired.

"She was doing very well. We always made sure that schoolwork was a top priority in Karenna's life and she was a smart girl." Marion answered.

"No problems with friends, or social situations at school?"

"None. She was always out with friends or having someone over to hang out."

"Was she using drugs or alcohol?" Nick asked, even though he knew the tox report would clear up this one, he was curious to know how well this lady knew her daughter.

"Yes. Unfortunately she got into some of that stuff, but there was no way for us to keep her out of it. We figured as long as she was safe about it, and it didn't interfere with school, we'd let her do what she wanted."

"Okay." Nick took mental notes of all these things, "Just one last thing."

"Sure." Marion nodded.

"Could you write down a list of some of her friends?" Nick asked. Marion nodded and excused herself to get a pen and paper, and Nick moved to the living room where he had seen who he assumed to be Karenna's older sister sitting earlier. "Excuse me, are you Karenna's sister?"

"Yeah." The girl muttered. She looked to be around seventeen or eighteen, and was thin and beautiful, Nick couldn't help but notice.

"Mind if I ask you some questions about your sister?" Nick hoped she'd say yes.

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes.

"So were you and Karenna close?"

"That wouldn't be the word for it. We more, oh how should I put it… hated each others guts?"

"Right. I have siblings, I know how it is." Nick tried to sympathize with her. "But still, you must be pretty shaken up, I mean hated her or not, she was your sister, and she died."

"I think I'll get over it, you know?" She smirked. "Sorry I didn't catch your name?"

"Nick Stokes, CSI." Nick introduced himself, "And you?"

"Charli Valdez." She smiled.

"So it must have been pretty hard on Karenna, being your little sister. It seems you have a lot going for you." Nick hoped to get some insight into Charli's personality.

"Yeah, I guess it must have been hard shadowing me. I've got perfect hair, teeth, perfect body, sense of style, I'm a straight A student, most popular girl in school. I guess some people just can't live up to my standards." Charli shrugged.

"I bet." Nick nodded. Maybe Catherine should come interrogate this girl, they seem a lot alike, Nick was smirking internally. "So do you know of anyone who would want to hurt your sister?"

"Why does it matter, she committed suicide, didn't she?" Charli twisted a strand of softly curled blonde hair around her finger.

"As far as we know," Nick didn't want to make any promises, no matter how strongly he believed that Karenna committed suicide. "But something had to drive her to it."

"Karenna… well she wasn't popular, but she didn't have any enemies either. She was sort of in the middle. No one overly liked her, other than her friends, but no one hated her either. She didn't do anything to piss anyone off, but she didn't do anything to make them like her either." Charli explained.

"I see." Nick thought of what to ask yet. "Your mom said she was into drugs and alcohol?"

"Karenna?" Charli sniggered, "She was as straightedge as they come."

"So she didn't do drugs?" Nick furrowed his eyebrows. This was a first, usually parents didn't know their kids were into stuff, not the other way around.

"I doubt she would have known how." Charli rolled her eyes. "Believe me; my mom has no idea about anything. She thought Karenna was the one doing all the shit and I was the perfect one."

"Right." Nick said. "Okay, now if I could just get a DNA sample from you, to rule out your DNA if we find any around your sisters room or on your sister from casual transfer due to living together?"

"As if I went anywhere near Karenna or her room." Charli sniggered.

"It doesn't matter if you went anywhere near her, even if you walked past her in the hallway, you could have shed a hair, there are millions of ways." Nick tried to explain.

"Whatever, have some DNA." Charli just wanted him to stop talking.

"Alright," Nick handed her the swab and motioned for her to swab her cheek, which she did, and handed it back to him. "Thank you."

"Whatever." Charli rolled her eyes again. "Are we done?"

"Could you write down a list of who Karenna hung around with?" Nick asked, just to be sure as he figured that the Mother's list and Charli's list would be very different.

"I guess." Charlie sighed.

"You're a trooper." Nick rolled his eyes as he set off to find the father.

--&

"Well, there's certainly not much DNA in this room." Sara sighed.

"What have you collected so far, anything probative?" Grissom wondered.

"Not really. I've got some red fibers, some hair strands, dyed black, some blonde which could be Karenna's or anyone in her families, and some blue fibers. You?"

"More blonde hairs, a bit of blood by the wall here, and some red hairs. She kept a clean room." Grissom observed.  
"She did." Sara agreed, not sure of what else to say. Her pager went off, and it was David, telling her he was prepping for post. "That's David, I've gotta go. See you back at the lab?"

"Yeah." Grissom nodded as Sara packed up her kit and exited the room.

--&

A/N: The beginning. Alright, anyone interested in more, because if no one is haha then I won't write any more since I have enough stories going right now. So please let me know!

Okay! Thank you for reading!


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